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MOUNTAINEER NOT AWARE OF THE WAR
Man of Six Feet Six Indignant Because He Had Not Been Called for Service, but Board Rejects Him.
In his search for slackers, Secretary Robert W. Smith of the Hollidaysburg draft board, unearthed the real freak of the times.
It appeared that a certain registrant of 1917 had become lost in the shuffle and could not be located until an anonymous letter reached the board concerning a certain hermit on a small mountain farm, of draft age.
Letters demanding his presence at headquarters were unanswered until yesterday, when Mr. Smith was visited by an elongated individual of somewhere around 6 feet, 6 inches, who explained that he had visited his local postoffice to learn if the war was still going on and had there been interested that it was and that his main, demanding his presence at draft board headquarters, had been accumulating.
Coming home he secured his wife, a diminutive woman of something under 5 feet, and together they trudged to the draft board in answer to the summons.
He could hardly be convinced that the war was in progress and became indignant that the draft board had neglected to permit it to go on without having him in his proper place.
He was certain it could no end successfully without his service and demanded immediate induction into the service.
He also demanded a place in the army for his wife, explaining that she could wash dishes for the soldier boys while he was engaged in killing Germans.
The unfortunate ending of the matter, for him, was contained in the verdict of the examining physician that he was not up to the physical requirements of the army and could not be used for military service this time.
Thus the army loses a most willing and enthusiastic recruit, who not only wanted to go himself but insisted that his wife also enter the service and the Germans likewise have one less valiant and formidable foe to battle with.
Keywords/Tags: Secretary Robert W. Smith, Hollidaysburg draft board, WWI, Altoona, Blair County, Pennsylvania